Please don’t get sick of me asking how are you at the beginning of each post. At some point you may be ready to be honest.
Last night I put myself on time out in the car in the garage….no really. It wasn’t over anything specific, but just an overwhelming sense of powerlessness and frustration. Twenty minutes later-I was fine.
This season is a huge struggle for educators. We are ending the school year in such a unusual way and there is significant loss associated with it. Recently I listened to a podcast interview with David Kessler in which he shares the foundation for the 6th stage of grief: meaning.
In an article with the New York Times David goes on to say this:
“meaning comes through finding a way to sustain your love for the person after their death while you’re moving forward with your life. Loss is simply what happens to you in life. Meaning is what you make happen.”
David Kessler
So taking that quote and layering it on the loss of the end of year celebrations, graduations, and transitions to the next grade what meaning can you find from this season? And how can you stop assigning ownership to yourself?
A good friend has told me this mantra: Everything that happens is your responsibility, not your fault. As a driven person I take on too many tasks and too much ownership of other’s behaviors and actions. This style leads to burnout, frustration, and lack of joy in the daily journey.
Leading with authentic grace means that you assign ownership and accountability to others, and then you let it go. Last I checked you didn’t cause COVID-19, you are not in the homes of all of your students, and you don’t have control over the circumstances and situations families are navigating in this season.
So finding meaning in this season might mean finding purpose, not perfection. Not every lesson will go as planned, not every student will turn in the work, and that is going to have to be okay. Instead of focusing on the five who didn’t show up, be grateful for the 20 that did. Look at your class list not from a lens of their end of year GPA, but at the attributes they developed while in your care this year. Maybe one student opened up more during your hour, what if another talked more in your class than anywhere else in school? How about the one who just came every day and did their job-no pat on the back needed?
This week take time to find meaning in this end of the school year season. Review the names of your students and write down what they taught you this year and what you taught them-content aside. Share successes with fellow teachers. Instead of focusing on the student who isn’t showing up, think about ways to celebrate the students who are coming everyday.
And finally, and most importantly, let it go. You are doing your very best, everyone around you knows it, I just thought you might need to hear it one more time.
Jessica
More Resources:
- Preparing for Change in Education: A Times Ten Free Webinar.
- A Trauma-Informed Approach to Teaching Through Corona Virus: Teaching Tolerance.
- Prioritizing Self-Care While at Home
- Free Webinar: Helping Your Children Manage COVID-19 Realities: Beyond the Facts and Into the Effects on our Lives, Anne Gearity, PhD
- Balance Like a Pirate Quadrants below-take time to find ways to fill each of these squares in the next week.
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