In Principal in Balance, I explore the connection between burnout and comparison, mainly how emotional exhaustion often stems from absorbing the experiences of others—whether in real life or on social media. Too often, we internalize what we see without context, allowing it to shape our own emotions and energy.

As educators, we were never explicitly taught to put our own oxygen masks on first. For many of us, there’s an underlying sense of shame in prioritizing ourselves, even for seemingly normal tasks, before tending to others. But ignoring our own needs only fuels exhaustion and diminishes our ability to lead effectively.

In a recent blog post, I identified three key steps to break free from the comparison trap.

When we’re not intentional about our focus, distractions can pull us off course and away from our true purpose.
Here’s how we can reclaim our energy:

1. Reframe.

Shift your perspective by recognizing that what you see—primarily online—is often a highlight reel, not the whole story. Instead of comparing, ask yourself: What is this teaching me about what I truly value?

Challenge: How can you celebrate others’ wins while staying grateful for your own?
For example, if a colleague just completed their master’s degree and you haven’t started yours yet, instead of feeling behind, congratulate them. Then, take a moment to reflect—Is this the right time for me to pursue further education, or am I feeling pressure simply because someone else did it?

2. Refocus.

Redirect your attention to your own mission and priorities. What matters most in your role? Who are you called to serve? Keeping your focus on your unique path helps silence the noise of comparison.

Challenge: How can you turn comparison into curiosity?
Recently, I spoke with another principal about a strategy they were using to reduce behavior referrals. Instead of dismissing it as something that wouldn’t work in my school, I got curious. What could I learn from their approach? Could parts of their strategy be adapted to fit my own school’s needs? We open the door for growth when we shift from comparison to curiosity.

3. Reconnect.

Surround yourself with people and practices that ground you. Whether it’s faith, trusted colleagues, or personal reflection, reconnecting with your purpose and support system will help you navigate challenges with clarity.

Challenge: How can you check in with yourself before you post or scroll on social media?
I firmly believe that you can’t lead well until you live well. If you find yourself feeling more jealousy than joy in a certain season, it might be time to evaluate your schedule. Are you making enough time for yourself outside of work and social media? If not, what small changes can help you prioritize your well-being?

The pressure to measure up to unrealistic standards is real, but it doesn’t have to define our leadership or well-being. When we reframe, refocus, and reconnect, we step out of the comparison cycle and into a more balanced, purpose-driven life.

This week, challenge yourself to replace comparison with curiosity. Observe when you start comparing and ask: What can I learn from this? Let me know how it goes!

Jessica

More Resources:

Podcast: To the Woman Struggling with Comparison – Listen to this episode with Epic Talk and powerful testimonies.

Blog Post: Learning to Let Things Go on Social Media – Read here

Get Your Own Signed Copy of Principal in Balance – Click here